This is an interesting subject which can take up many hours but I will try and be as concise as possible.
Many years ago, I was unemployed and did small chores around the house while my wife went to work. She would ask me on many occasions to transfer the washing from the machine to the dryer, which were right next to one another and would have taken less than two minutes to do.
But, on many occasions, I failed to do so because I was too busy watching a movie, or playing golf or some other stuff and when my wife came home, she would ask if I had done the washing and I would say no and she would get really annoyed. Naturally, the man in me could not understand why this was such a big deal knowing that the washing was not done by her own hand and that it could get done now and so on, you know, typical man mentality. But it annoyed my wife no end and it became a big problem … while my golf handicap came down to single figures.
It came to a head one day when she, not so gently, told me why it was such a huge problem for her. And it was quite simple. She felt that I did not value her enough to get the washing done and this really impacted me because it illustrates the difference between topic and issue quite nicely. The topic in this matter was the washing, and it was true that it could be redone and laundered without any real effort, but the issue was one of relationship and of value in the relationship, which made more sense.
This also makes sense when we deal with daily things that cause strife in our relationships, things like being late for an appointment, because being late is not a huge problem in and of itself if there is a valid reason with the appropriate apologies, because time is the topic, but the issue is that when we are late because we are tardy, or lazy and ill- disciplined the issue is that we have no respect for the other person.
The issue is the bigger thing that we need to focus on because once the issue is addressed, the topic will take care of itself. Think of yourself, are you late for work, do you deliver sub-standard performance, this is not topic problem but an issue problem, meaning you are ill-disciplined, you are disrespectful and have no real respect for others? When we attack the issue then we are really dealing with the problem. It is much like dealing with the symptoms rather than the cause, and dealing with symptoms is so much easier that dealing with the cause because it takes less effort and requires very little dedication on our part.
The main point here is that we need to be intentional when dealing with things in our lives and many of these issues are as a result of poor character, rather than poor education or training. We need to drive ourselves to be men and women of character and to excel in this area and we will see the results develop. We need to teach ourselves and those for whom we are responsible, that what we sow in life is what we will reap, and it is not an easy task and requires sacrifice and dedication and intention.
Until next time, be driven by love and fueled by desire
Shalom
