Communication is one of the cornerstones of leadership because communication is the key to influencing others.  

In my last blog post, I mentioned communication as part of leadership and personal development and I wanted to expand on that this time. 

Communication is an important tool and even though some naturally communicate better than others, it is a skill that can be learnt and improved. In fact, it should be one of the most important things we learn due to the fact that it is used so extensively in our everyday life. The average person speaks around twenty thousand words a day, which means that we are conveying quite a lot of information to others, so it is best that we make it count.  

This brings me to the point of today’s post … what are we communicating to others and how are we doing it?  

It is a fact that we communicate daily with and to others, mostly with words but these words too are just a product or by-product of something else.  

Consider the fact that you might be the kindest or nicest people in the office but when you get annoyed you might let go of some serious howlers because your emotions have clouded or impeded your ability to control your tongue.  

When our emotions get overloaded, we tend to lose the ability to control ourselves, or to hide our true nature. When you squeeze an apple you get apple juice, from grapes you get grape juice, but what comes out when you get squeezed?  

What comes out of you is what is already inside and what is inside is your character. 

Think about your character and what you communicate. What are you saying – about yourself, about your personality and about your attitude?  

Are you late getting to work because you are tardy or do you make an effort to be on time? I remember doing a project with a production company and we would have meetings that would take me two hours to get to, but I would leave three hours before the meeting and then phone the person every hour to let them know where I was and if traffic was good or bad. This was very surprising for them because arriving late for a meeting had become an acceptable norm to them, but it is something I personally detest as we should plan to be on time and we have the means to let others know we will be late. If you are going to be late because of your bad planning then you are communicating that you have no or very little regard for the person/s you are meeting with and that the meeting may not be that important to you.  

There are obviously certain things that you cannot control, for example an accident on the road or a breakdown of your vehicle but I am talking generally of being tardy. You are communicating a lack of respect and a lack of discipline.  

What about talking on your mobile device whilst driving or not adhering to the speed limits because you are either late or not paying attention to the rules? What about your subsequent interaction with the law enforcement officer who has graciously (or not) stopped you … your kids watch this interaction and learn how you behave toward about the s authority and then you want to become angry and irritable with them when they treat you the same way. You expect them to be obedient to your instruction and yet you are disobedient yourself to simple things like the traffic rules. 

Or how about coming to work in a less than satisfactory condition because you and friends have been out the night before and have had far too much to drink … don’t you think you are communicating disrespect towards your employer or towards your team mates because when you are not capable of doing your job properly and someone else has to pick up the slack for you? That is a little disrespectful, don’t you think? 

This is something I learnt from my grandfather, who served in World War 2 and was an alcoholic, he said that you can drink the night before but dress up and show up at work on time ready to do your job and do it properly.  

The bottom line here is that we communicate our character on a daily basis without even saying a word. Our attitudes, our disposition or level of respect and honesty and integrity are all communicated without saying a word. They are on display during good times and bad. 

The key is people see who you and not what you are as you communicate.  

Therefore, challenge yourself to look at your character and what you are communicating, with or without words, striving to become the best you that you can be. This is the difference between efficient and effective. 

Driven by love and fueled by desire 

Shalom